Goodness in the Midst of Grief

As many of you know, Carson Robbins, the seventeen year old son of my friend (and coworker) died recently. He had spent nine grueling weeks in the ICU battling unexplainable, severe seizures. This was not the outcome that anyone wanted. Like everyone else, I had been hoping and praying for a miracle.

In early March I wrote a prayer in my journal pleading with God for a supernatural healing, reminding Him (like He needs my wisdom) of all of the benefits a miracle could bring to the community. “What a powerful witness that would be!” I reasoned.

But, knowing that God doesn’t always see things the way I do, I acknowledged that the chance for loss was possible. I asked that if death was the course He would choose, that the Robbins family would, “be swallowed up in Your grace and surrounded by Your love.”

Looking back on the circumstances of the last number of weeks, including Carson’s funeral, I see strong evidence of God’s grace; and while He didn’t grant our prayers for a miraculous healing, He did provide a series of happenings that may just be miracles of a different sort. Here’s what I mean:

Even though Carson was just one student in a district of over 2000 kids, soon after he entered the hospital, his plight became the talk of the schools. From teachers who had had Carson in class to those who knew his mom from her work as a teacher’s aide to those who knew his dad as supporter of the wrestling program, and those who had cheered for Carson along with the other football players, everyone was pulling for him.

The concern spilled over into the community as various people worked to garner support for the family. “You Can Kick This” t-shirts and “Hope for Carson” bracelets were made and sold to raise money for the Ronald McDonald House, where Carson’s parents were staying near the hospital. Spirit days were held at school in his honor. A prayer rally was organized, gathering a couple hundred people in the high school gym. And online, messages of prayer and encouragement abounded.

Carson had become everyone’s friend, every parent’s child, every teacher’s student. In this disconnected, and often unloving, world, this expression of loving solidarity was a balm to my cynical soul.

Then, when news broke of Carson’s death, the support only grew. Local news organizations picked up the story. The athletic boosters set up a fund for a memorial at the stadium and neighboring schools sent messages of support. Students posted number eights (Carson’s football number) on light posts downtown and on trees lining the street to the church. And in response to so many people requesting the day off, the entire school system was shut down for the day of his funeral. I’m not sure that’s happened before.

On the morning of the funeral, my wife and I showed up about an hour before the start and the church sanctuary was already almost full. By the time the service began, every seat was filled, people stood along the walls, and the lobby and the banquet room were packed to overflowing. In all, I estimate there were over 800 in attendance.

I’ve never witnessed such an outpouring of support. Gathered in that church were classmates and teachers, coworkers and friends, family and acquaintances, townsfolk and caring strangers. It seemed like the whole town was there. The Robbins family was walking through the valley of the shadow of death but they weren’t going alone. God was surrounding them with His love using the collective arms of our community.

Sitting in the funeral service I found myself wondering what God might be doing; what good could he bring out of a tragic event that has brought this much sadness upon so many. Then as the service progressed and the gospel of Jesus Christ was preached and the hope of the resurrection was explained, I felt like I caught a glimmer of God’s working.

In the audience were literally hundreds of students, hearts softened with grief, hearing the precious words of life. The untimely death of their peer had shattered any illusion of immortality that they might have had. Front and center was the truth that we are all on borrowed time with no guarantee of tomorrow; and what happens to us after we die is of utmost importance.

The pastor reassured the crowd of Carson’s faith, baptism, and hope in the promise of eternal life found in the saving work of Christ. We all took solace in the fact that this was not the end of the story. Because of Jesus, death would not have the final word.

Maybe this is the miracle that God thought would be best; to gather our whole town, young and old, before a casket and the cross and remind everyone of our greatest need; eternal life that can only be found in Him.

Lord, I’m thankful for the grace and love that You have shown to the Robbins and I pray that the impact of this painful and transformative moment will ripple through generations, bearing everlasting fruit in the hearts of the Carson’s family, his friends and classmates, and our entire community. Amen.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28 - NASB)